I must be the last person on the planet to see this movie and this is not so much a movie review, as a lap dance for Mr. Craig. I must say, I fell for him hard as, “Bond. James Bond” in this film. He “disarmed” me, so to speak. Those icy blue eyes with that well muscled physique, the forceful sexuality and hot passion had me coming and going during the entire film. I would have extended him the five million dollar credit for the poker game just for him to spend one night with me; I wouldn’t even care if he won. I would have assuaged his bruised ego if need be.
“Yes my sweet Sue”
I have to tell you something.”
“Back when you were being tortured, I made a deal to get you out. I was blackmailed to save your life and that of my French-Algerian boyfriend if I promised to hand over the money to them. I’m really sorry, but I am sure that you can understand why I did it.”
“Oh, of course! Don’t worry for a moment honey. We can triple cross them without much trouble. I will set the whole thing up and don’t you worry your pretty little head about it one more minute. Okay? I really am feeling much better. Shall I make mad passionate love to you now?”
“Your wish is my command, my love… Shall I run away to make it sporting for you? And then struggle and resist with all my strength?”
“Oh God, you know how to make me hot! You are on! I’ll give you a five second head start.”
Sigh. Have to breathe here. Feeling dizzy. Better now.
Right away, I bought him as a thug, when he strangled his first bad guy with his bare hands. The cool killer spy quickly followed as he dispatched both with a quick silenced shot; the last from his trademark 007 Walther PPK. Then he sold me on his action hero potential as he chased another bad guy through Madagascar á la Jackie Chan. I am sure everybody got bruises shooting those scenes.
He fills out a bathing suit quite nicely. Don’t you think? I’d rather he take it off. I am sure they have nude bathing there in Montenegro. If you would like to see a photo of him nude, Pete in Finland has one here.
But, could this brute, Mr. Craig, handle being suave, debonair, a seducer of women at a formal event? Ah, yes he could. Most handily thank you.
But last, and not least, we have to see our hero tortured. So here he is in the infamous torture scene.
They saved this scene until the last day of shooting. How they did it is the bottom of the chair was covered with fiberglass. A cane rug beater was used to strike it, as could be seen in the movie. Mr. Craig could feel that the bottom was being hit, but was completely safe. On one hit the fiberglass cracked and Mr. Craig stood up suddenly and said, “Whoa, gotta go!”
I must say, I enjoyed the scene because Mr. Craig was nude and sweaty and looked hot in it. I did not for one moment believe that he was being tortured and the scene did not make me wince. I thought the scene was hot. What did you think?
By the way, I have rented more of his films on Netflix. Daniel Craig is my new favorite actor, so don’t even think of coming between us. Got that?