I have posted this unedited interview because the one appearing in Loverboy Mag is edited to the extent where my views are lost.
On Fri, Oct 24, 2014 at 3:06 PM, SueHuybensz <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Here is my attempt to answer your questions. I will send links separately.
From: “Michael Turnbull” <email@example.com>
To: “SueHuybensz” <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2014 4:04:48 AM
Subject: Loverboy questions
Sorry for the delay in this. You probably thought it was never coming!
Here are the questions. See what you think. Any issues let me know. Please don’t use my real name.
Also tell me what links or info you want underneath. xx
I am honored to be interviewed by Loverboy Magazine. I have always felt that I am not the story, the adult entertainers are the story. But I do get that who I am and what I do is rare, so here we go.
Do you want to be called Fairview Sue or Sue Huybensz?
I prefer to be called Sue Fairview, since that is the url to my blog and people who need to know my real name know what it is.
Why ‘Fairview Sue’?
When I thought of the name, I just knew it was perfect. I really try to be compassionate and fair.
Besides your current vocation, you previously worked at a pharmaceutical company trying to find a cure for HIV. Have you always worked in gay-related jobs?
No, that was my first brush with the gay world, so to speak.
Can you tell me about your pharmaceutical job?
I studied to be a chemist and was thrilled to get a job at big pharma. The company was so big, that I never had to leave to have many careers. I worked as an infectious diseases biochemist, an analytical chemist, a safety coordinator and radiation safety officer, a compliance assurance good clinical practices auditor, in the Oncology clinical research department and as one of two employees helping upper managment to streamline clinical procedures worldwide with regard to lessening the time it takes to study a drug and move it to approval. Whilst in Oncology, in addition to working on some very important, life-saving cancer drugs, I had the wonderful opportunity to work on the second antiretroviral drug to be approved in the USA and Canada in both adults and children. My work began in 1989 and AIDS was a very dire diagnoses back then. The company was the first ever to give drug away for free to almost 70,000 patients as part of an expanded access program. I led a small group of my peers in the monitoring of 100 participating sites and the data was used for the safety portion of the New Drug Application to the Food and Drug Administration. In doing so, I traveled across the country monitoring sites and got to see how AIDS stole the health and lives of young men. It was quite sobering. But I also met many very dedicated physicians and nurses.
I had another opportunity to work on a chemotherapy for Kaposi’s Sarcoma. The drug was extremely effective and we had total cures with it. I was honored and proud to meet a brave patient who testified at the FDA hearing for that one.
Do you have a lot of gay friends? Have you always known a lot of LGBT people?
I didn’t meet any that I knew of until I worked at big pharma. Of course, all of them were closeted at work, as our company was conservative. I had a very good lesbian friend who had to come out due to discrimination by her boss. I have always felt that LGBT people have a more mature perspective on life in general, since they know firsthand how bigoted and hurtful some people can be and have to shield themselves from that. They are well in touch with reality. To me, the personality of my LGBT friends shone out of them like a bright light.
I know there were concerns about running a porn blog, because your local village/town is not necessarily the most liberal place. Was it ok when you were working at the pharmaceutical company? Did they say anything then?
I did not start the blog until I was disabled. But It would have been scandalous! LOL!
What happened when you had your brain aneurysm? Where were you? Did you collapse? How was it diagnosed? Did you need an operation?
Well, the night before I had just gotten home from a several day seminar in NYC where I was training my peers. I took the train home and had a migraine and was exhausted. I stood in the doorway in my raincoat, with nothing left. The next day was a Friday and I was to be reviewed by my bitch boss, a cardiologist who wanted to “coach” me. Ugh! I felt trapped and that I could not face the morning. I went to bed.
My husband was awakened by the phone ringing. It was my office saying that I had my review this morning and how come I wasn’t in yet? My husband looked into my room and I was unresponsive and grey. He quickly stated that he had a medical emergency and would get back to them. He then carried me down the stairs and took me to my doctor, who called an ambulance and I was rushed to the local medical center for a brain scan. That scan showed a large brain hemorrhage and I was taken by helicopter to Yale Medical Center. I was diagnosed with a “formidable” arterovenous malformation, a congenital condition. My neuro-vascular surgeon was world renowned in treating this condition – he saved my life. I required 2 brain surgeries, one to drain the clot and one to remove the AVM, and needed two procedures to prepare the AVM for removal. My outcome was truly a miracle. I am in the top 95th percentile of outcomes. I am very thankful for my recovery! More of the trials and tribulations of this experience are documented on my blog under the label “Health” in an 8 post series called “Brush with death”.
It obviously left you disabled afterwards. But did it change your work ethic and what you wanted to do with your career?
My disability was not obvious to me at all, as it was invisible and I felt great. I read Lance Armstrong’s ITS NOT ABOUT THE BIKE for guidance. Your surgeon cures you and then what? I had a terrific outcome, so I went back to work after a 6 month sick leave because my job was so important and beneficial to society. It took 4 tortuous years for me to convince myself that I was disabled. Basically, I had less stamina than before, chronic daily migraines, epilepsy [I had 2 grand mal seizures at work], and far less mental acuity than before to the point that I was useless in my profession. My nearly eidetic memory and typically sharp mental acuity was gone and that, with my knowledge of chemistry drug regulation and medicine, was my value to big pharma. But my expectations for myself had not changed; I was still a type A person, so my work ethic did not change at all.
But the entire episode gave me so much empathy for others; I had thought that because I worked on cancers and AIDS that I understood that life is short and what suffering is. I learned that it was egotistical of me to think this. It took nearly dying to wake me up to how beautiful a treasure life is, and how quickly it can end.
Also, spiritually, it changed me. I had had dreams beforehand that I was the Dalai Lama and had great interest in Buddhism. My compassion for others skyrocketed through this experience.
I was so driven to help people, that I thought about joining the fire department. I actually went on a training run with them and helped cut a roof off of a car. That was so exciting! But I didn’t think that working for the fire department would be good for my health as I needed to keep regular hours. I also tried to start a Gay/Straight Alliance in my local school district, but the person I spoke with said that there were none of that “type” of student in the classes. I tried to explain that the group would also be for straight people and the message would be tolerance so that bullying would be eliminated. But it was a no go. I also tried volunteering for True Colors, a safe-house/mentoring group. But they were based in Hartford, which was too far for me to drive. So, I volunteered at my town’s local library for 6 or so years.
When did you realise you enjoyed watching gay porn?
I have always been a very sexual person and love looking at naked men! It didn’t really start for me until I noticed gay porn stars. Of course, then I wanted to see them in action. Who wouldn’t???? My first gay porn was when I became a reviewer for Stag Homme Studios. I loved their films; they were so freaking hot! Over the years, Stag Homme has developed into quite the creative artists and I feel that they are undervalued as a company. Next was Liberate Studios in South Africa, then LoganMcCree.tv, and finally Raging Stallion Studios. I have never bought commercial porn in my life. I got to be a reviewer for Raging Stallion by writing an email to Bruno Bond when Focus/Refocus was coming out. My email was titled “Ain’t too proud to beg” and I pointed out that I was a huge murder mystery fan and would love to review this movie. I heard back several weeks later that RSS had taken me on as a reviewer! Imagine, reviewing gay porn while watching it! I was in bliss!
Is it the lack of a women that you like watching or the idea of two men? Double your money! 🙂
Well, I have no sexual interest in women, so why would want to watch porn that has them? The idea of two men is just so hot! I love to watch them kissing and hugging and you know… LOL!
Do you ever watch gay porn with your husband?
Not really. I have shown him some, and he just isn’t into it.
How extreme do you like your BDSM? You were saying before you didn’t like clamps, fisting, or watersports. That sounds like you are into more straight female BDSM where it is more erotic than hardcore male sexual fetish. Is that fair?
Not really. I love the aspect of being tied down. When I was at International Mr. Leather in 2012, I got locked into a kennel. It made me high! I also love floggers. My favorite BDSM movie was RSS Fetish Force’s film Back Alley and my favorite scene was with Leo Forte and Jessie Santana. The review is on the blog. I asked Leo why the movie wasn’t nominated for awards, and he told me that it was too hardcore for the general fans to appreciate. I also don’t mind watching sounding. I don’t like clamps on balls; it looks so painful! But I don’t mind them on other parts of the body.
What kind of men are you attracted to? (It’s bears and muscle isn’t it?)
I adore hairy bodybuilders and a beard just makes it all the more delectable. So, yes please!
In which case do you understand the attraction with twinks?
Absolutely. I have reviewed a couple of twink films and one can forget that they are not bodybuilders and see that they can really know what they are doing. Plus some of them are so beautiful!
What made you want to set up your own blog?
So, there I was, bored and disabled. But I saw a show on tv called America’s Top Male Model. There was a scandal that one of the contestants did some stripping in a gay bar. I researched that online and discovered blogs! I began going to gay blogs everywhere to see the cheesecake as well as porn clips, but really became friends with Brenton Parry of Aussielicious. He is the one that inspired me to start a blog. At first I was just posting excerpts from a book I was writing and then just tidbits of news about myself on my blog. But I quickly noticed that if one posted photos of nude men, one got more traffic. Then later on, I discovered that if one posted photos of cocks, traffic would soar! The most traffic I ever got was 4,000 hits per day. This was severely curtailed when WordPress shut me down for having a gay porn blog. I never have recovered all of those hits plus I lost many photos; some of which I have never recovered. Now I own my domain personally.
Tell me about Fairview Fantasies?
Everyone has sexual fantasies, am I right? Well I had this great idea that two scientists could have fun adventures worldwide. The protagonist was a lepidopterist named Mr. Butterfly; he had a PhD, but why stand on ceremony? His counterpart was Dr. Sue Fairview, a botanist who specialized in orchids. Then I thought that my total fantasy was to cure AIDS, so why not incorporate that into the fantasy as well? Mr. Butterfly has sex in the Amazon with a native who uses a potion beforehand as a lubricant. Mr. Butterfly was worried because the sex was bareback, and he is HIV+. So he takes a sample of the potion home to the Foundation for Understanding Nature (FUN) where it is analyzed and found to have anti-viral properties. You can guess the rest! I really enjoyed writing the fantasies because I have traveled quite a lot and I could apply my knowledge of the pharmaceutical industry. It also gave me an opportunity to write sexual scenarios that were both gay and straight.
Did you ever want to stay anonymous?
To some extent I am anonymous. This was important to me for my own safety and also to protect my family, some of whom do not approve of my gay porn blog. But I really would like to be out and proud.
How did your husband feel about you lusting after these men? And also you putting yourself out there saying you enjoyed watching it?
At first he was confused and jealous. But he likes and watches porn too! It took him a while to get that it wasn’t a threat to him at all.
He has always worried about my safety and was very concerned about the virtual world meeting the real world. In other words, when I went out to meet with people that I had only met online for the first time. But I think that now, he pretty much trusts my judgement.
Apparently more and more straight women are saying they enjoy watching gay sex, even the one direction fans write fan fiction about the boys sleeping together. What do you think it is, or rather what do you find so attractive about this?
I think it is for the same reason that I enjoy it. Heterosexual women love men and are turned on by them. They have no interest in women at all. So, once inhibition towards anal sex is conquered, which I believe is easier for straight women than straight men (because by nature women are bottoms), it is free reign to just love gay porn. It is like you mentioned, two men are double the hot! Three men is triple the hot! Straight women and gay men have something in common, we all love cock!
Why do you think this is becoming more popular with straight women?
More straight women are becoming exposed to gay porn and realizing that it is available.
Have you noticed an increase in straight women reading your blog?
Every now and then I get a comment from a woman, but I do not track that aspect at all.
Who is your favourite actor and why?
My first porn crush was Francesco D’Macho. One of my blogger friends called him “sex on legs”. I wrote a fantasy about him and he actually commented on it! I was totally blown away! Since then, I have had other crushes, notably on Pedro Andreas. I still think Pedro is the sexiest man in the business, maybe on the planet. But as far as great actors, I adore Rogan Richards; he is one very talented man.
- Do you ever meet up with them? Where do you go? (If you could talk about the Grabbys and stuff that would be ace.)
Francesco set me up with his friend, Cristiano, to kind of check me out. Cristiano took me to the International Asian Art Fair in NYC. Cristiano is a class act – picked me up in his limo and the whole Asian Art Fair was filled with glitterati. Cristiano knew everybody! I guess I passed muster and so next I met with Francesco and his then fiancee Damien Crosse in NYC where we had dinner. Next thing I knew, I was invited to their wedding in Madrid! Both my husband and I went and it was fabulous! The food was shipped in from Italy and all the men adult entertainers or not, were just as delectable.
Typically, if a popular adult entertainer is performing NYC, I will go there to see him where ever the gig is. In that way I have met Steve Cruz, Rogan Richards, Francois Sagat and many more.
In addition, I began attending award ceremonies as well as the Folsom Street Fair and International Mr. Leather (IMRL). My first ever award event was the 2010 GAYVNs in San Francisco. I worked the red carpet as a photographer so that I could get in for free. OMG! I thought I had died and gone to heaven; surrounded by beautiful men! I met so many adult entertainers – it felt like I met all of them! What an wonderful experience that was! The Folsom Street Fair was held simultaneously, so I went to that too. I also attended the Grabbys in 2012 and 2013 in Chicago. IMRL is held on the same weekend in May. My blog enabled me to go as press and a photographer so I got into both events for free. I have met so many adult entertainers that I literally cannot keep track. Most of the people I have met are really very nice and sweet. I have hung out with Adam Champ, Alexsander Freitas, Draven Torres, and Diesel Washington; all of whom are very well mannered, intelligent gentlemen that I consider to be friends. Actually, Adam and I were walking back to our hotel from a party late one night in San Francisco, when a drunk stumbled out of a bar and smack into me. I bounced, thank god, but the concern that Adam showed for me is something that I will always treasure. He is a very sincere and loving person. Through my blog I have seen the personal side to many performers. I have tried to share these experiences with my readers. [The easiest way to locate posts on my blog is by using the “Categories” function; click on a category and you will see all of the posts on that item. My blog also has a search function.]
As I am disabled, attending these events, and related parties, takes its toll on me, and I usually get sick after going. Also, I pay my own travel expenses, and that limits what I can go to since I live on Social Security Disability, which is pretty much a fixed income. My dream is to go to Hustlaball Berlin! I hear that one can see live sex there! Plus, I could hook up again with my European pals and of course meet tons of new people!
I really feel very lucky to have had all of these experiences and my blog has been a large part of my enjoyment in life. I really wish that everyone could experience what I have, see the wonderful people I have met and share what it feels like to be in the gay world.
And then on Saturday, May 26, 2012, this happened:
What I like the most about gay porn is that it provides a fantasy. The adult film actors work very hard to make this fantasy seem real. I have had many fantasies about many different things since I have started watching gay porn. Knowing that these things will never be a reality is a most important fact. I do admit that I have a “kinky” side as far as my interests and fantasies go and in that regard, going to these events and meeting adult actors is like a vaction from reality. But basically, I am a normal heterosexual married woman. I feel that the Loverboy Mag article loses sight of this and makes me more of the story than I would like.
Here are the links that were not published, but that I sent to Michael Turnbull:
I was honored to be styled and photographed by Aaron Cobbett: http://pinkandwrinkly.tumblr.com/. These photos are in the magazine only.
Also, I would like to point out that the protagonist in the Fairview Fantasy is Mr. Butterfly, who is HIV+.